interesting hmmmm

I havnt blogged in a while XD yet again my bad I just have been really trying to get a handle on alot of things and I'll honestly be damned if i can figure it out without having a hemerage no joike D:
like really why are people so confusing and why do the people that supposedly love you smash your heart into a billion pieces and then claim its all your fault and just continue to verbally attack you in such a way that is like pain and abuse?
alot of things have just gone to hell in a hand basket and in the end its never ending and has played a huge ass role of fracking up of alot of things... I mean honestly I thought we were happy then all of a sudden wham I'm antisocial i cant do squat every time i turn around I'm some sort of sexual beast and a whore of some sort and well I just dont understand it and I dont think I want to there is honestly too much pain involved and its just full of wtf and wow really your kidding me... type of things and I just dont know how to handle any of it any more...
i try and try and try and help and give and slave and taxi and some how AFTER ALL OF THIS IM THE BAD GUY WTF... WTF.

I'm trying really hard to stay focused on positivity but its hard specially when I think I'm getting really sick D:
so the grand finali of all that was once a happy memory is nothing but a sad angry blurr and hate its fracked up and I really dont know what to say about it its just UGH frack people sometimes really :(