Saturday, February 18, 2012

Like new, like old, things are different now

So its been a long while since I have made a post....
All things aside there have been so many changes in my life and I couldn't be any happier.
If it weren't for certain "unfortunate" events I would have never found myself and gained as much admiration as I have now.
I have loved ones supporting my decisions and motivating me to continue my affairs in the art field.
Without their encouragement I would have given up on what I once thought were half assed unrepaired unachievable "goals."
I now know much better than to sell myself short, specially when I have such wonderful people in my life who have brought out the best in me when I thought I lost the best things about me.
It now has been a year for me full of changes and discoveries, including but not limited to better relationships with others and myself, the right to love and not be afraid of loving, babys, birth, self expression,ect.

This past year I delt with hardships losses, gain, maturity, and growth.
All things that everybody experiences in their life on a daily basis, but for me it was hard.

I broke constricting chains of oppression that left me feeling like I never wanted to share my heart with any one ever again.
Then I met my fate,
While I was in my past relationship we all know about the last year I spent feeling lost sad scared and empty...
I started having dreams about a person who was my soulmate my perfect match my equal.
He was everything to me he became my inner life, funny how upon being accused of cheating from some view point I was but he was just stuck in my head, my astral plane, the dreams..
Then it felt like everything was pulling me away pleading for me to break free from this turmoils grip that still held a thin string wrapped around my heart.
With my dream it gave me strength to cut the cord.
And then it happened those dreams felt so real, I could swear they were I started to draw this dream man, and then when I simply needed one night out away not attached to my hindrance, the breather that changed my life.
I missed a few friends from my past and so I reconnected,
And in one night I realized in theory my dream was real...
Last dream I had with my dream confidant, my internal diary, my lover, my comfort.
I remember telling this dream that I was going to a party and I might not be asleep by "normal" time...
All he said is it didn't matter because he would be there and it would be alright.
Scary thing is he was now reality.
My angel who broke my bonds to sadness.

With that everything rolled smoothly into rebirth.

I found my soul sister, the most wonderful person in the world.
Through her I experienced the joys people can offer.
We delt with a lot of grieving and spiritual cleansing.
We grew together and have been building our bonds.
Without her I would have never gotten my inner strength back.
We got tattoos together, one of the only bonds to another person I will ever do.
Its funny that we had the same complaints about stupid people and getting matching tattoos,
Yet that's the first one I got.
I'll never regret it due to the love I have for her, and tho she is gone on her own journeys through life, when I miss her company she is always with me and I'm with her.
Drunken nights funny events that you would have had to been there to even understand.

I have also found more love in the two people closest to me in my life.
If it weren't for them I would have stayed single.
They have been supportive and caring, and so much more I can't even put it into words.
They have made me feel more wonderful than I have ever felt in my life.
And the addition they brought into this world,i have never seen such a wonderful thing in my life.
So cute, so vibrant, so adorable.
She made me rethink my whole view on kids.
Its amazing how something so little and un aware of what's going on can change a whole persons view on life.
Before her I never wanted to dance with the possibility of ever having kids...
It used to be if I want kids I'll adopt.
I still might but I'm not as scared to maybe one day have a child of my own.
Silly little things.

So yeah that's where I'm at now.

Also am creating music making full on making not just buying weft and sewing a weave, making my own weft and wigs, selling the occasional art, crafting like crazy, making a comic that I want to release before the end of the year.
Making costumes for people.
Doing so much and all thanks to motivational people in my life.
everything is perfect.

I'll have to update more when I get more art done I'll have to post about it and share sample previews of my comic.
I think we will all be happy with it.
I cant wait!
I'll also have to share my music with you as well.
stay tuned kiddies.
Its gonna be good!

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