Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tonight

okay well today was suposed to be the wonderful day I let everone in to my personal life and whats been wrong with my life.
Sadly all I have to say about what has Occured is if you have twitter you should view my Tweets.

I said a few random things about the court hearing today but all didn't go acordingly thus meaning I'm not free from the evil clutches of my "Father" so going back to a normal life is not an option right now...
and nor do I see it taking place in the near future so a job is still out of the question *sighs*
this saddens me greately and also none of my charms or art have sold at all and the President of First friday got back to me and if I may be blunt now She was a MAJOR DOUSHE.

so now all my happyness and hopes and dreams are slowly going to shit just putting it bluntly.
I'm furthermore getting really depperessed about all of this and its just the tip of this dramatic spiraling iceberg of sadness.

Obviously I have poted not to do my awesome giveaway for the Manga not only was Laura Baley not at AV but I don't think I'll be getting any more followers than I already have so I gave up on it.

and if you must get more techinical my only avid follower Miss Wendy is the winner of the Anne Rice Book I already know she follows me and well due to technical disadvantages that make me sad she can't really represent me too well.

If I may be so bold as to say I did TXT Lee last month just cause I was unable to find my digital camera battery and well the last time I had it was at her birthday...

the conversation went well she said she would look but that her mom has an issue with me which I think was bogus I warn everyone that I'm blunt and well I got over all that like I sad.

I lost my chunk of followers becasue of her and the people devoted to Lee so I have now gained my own following I dont really care much but its still sad.

Lee aparently doesnt want there to be hard feelings between her and I any more but something deep inside of me even though I'm over the whole situation something in my gut just pisses me off about her.
she went to Anime Vegas and well I didn't think she even liked anime for that matter and well I'm now begining to hate my love of over 20 years.

I grew up with anime it was my major happyness and now I'm sad by alot of things and that just further more makes me sadder.
She doesnt follow my blog or I don't think she does but then again what do I know SPYS everywhere theres ways.

so last i heard she hated my guts royally and even tho she did in a way Appoligise for her actions I still cant get over it and the sadness I feel cant be fixed and what all happened with her and myspace and everything else deleting me out of her life fully then trying to repair it is just more pain on me than I can handle.

any way so shes at anime and okay whatever I saw her for minimal moments and i dunno I think it was a strain on both of our beings cause I felt such high tension I just had to walk away and the first day I cant believe she has a friend like shelby it was like looking back at high school and them being the popular girls all stuck up and me being goth again and getting eggs and tomatos thrown at me and then them laughing.

yes I was goth and yes that really did happen and its sad to think about.

so now anime has been over and well I'm posting my pics on my Deviant Art account freely and well Water Marked of corse cause I do plan on editing them and re posting them so I'm giving sneak previews and getting e mails in order of whos who in images and getting all the cosplay contest people taken care of and then today I wake up and right before I go to court I have a note from Lee on my DA about how she wants an un watermarked image of her and Drew.
~_~ so I'm already stressed angry and pissed off and I get this message,
honestly my first reaction was to blow up my computer.
second is I thought she wasnt even following my anything any more like I was obsolete and what the hell is wrong with this picture?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

yes I only recognised after loading my images on the comp before getting them to DA that Lee is in fact in three of my images and its all becasue I was taking random pics of the filled auditorium in the theatre for the preformances...
UGH why me?
I dunno what shes trying to do and my instincts tell me not to trust her and as of lately my instincts have been dead on about alot so this is just freaking me out and then court and everything sad with today....
I won't even go into Travis but yes today was a SHIT day.

in the end I'm a good person and I'm still not done loading images on DA but I told her once I was done I would send her a non water marked copy ~_~
sometimes I wanna punch myself in the head.

in other news I'm gonna be updating my Creations page again super soon and I'm in process of making a whole new layout and all that jazz so be expecting alot of crap.
also if you love scrap booking I might be making a new Blog dedicated to my scrap booking adiction and well yeah there might be one for cosplay as well ^_^ so we will see what happens its just about how many blogs and sites I feel like juggling around so thats all there is to that.

so now I'm going to create some crap before I go to bed ^_^


2 comments:

Lee said...

I tried to be a bigger person. I tried to be nice and to talk to you again.
I didn't want to be friends again, but I wanted to at least bandage the wounds that had been left after our major falling out.

Shelby does not like you, and she made that clear the first day. I was polite, kind, gave you a hug. I wanted to have a nice time, and I wanted you to know that there wouldn't be a problem with me. We weren't "stuck up". We were dressed up, having a good time. That's the extent of it. You took from it what you wanted. Also, I DO enjoy anime, and I feel it is a bit insulting that you would assume otherwise.

The second day, you acted as though you were glad to talk to me. We talked about anime, Drew, and many different things. I was NOTHING but genuine to you. I was happy to feel, at the time, that we could at least go on in a way that wasn't full of resentment and anger. I even took pictures of you, Travis and your mom in the Masquerade, just in case you didn't have anyone in the audience to take pictures.

As I was scrolling through the Anime Vegas forums trying to find any pictures of me, Drew or Shelby, I saw that you had posted pictures. I went through them, saw that Drew and I were in a couple of them, and asked you for them.
I was NOT following what you were doing. I just found your photos the same as I found a few others on various websites.

It hurts me to no end that after being as nice as I could to you at the convention, you would come on here and once again try to smear me when I didn't even DO anything to you. That you would call Shelby and I "stuck up", or act as though I had any sort of suspicious intentions towards you is insulting to me.
After our problems during my birthday, I never posted anything else negative about you. After Anime Vegas I even posted a picture of you and Travis at the masquerade, because I liked your skit.

The funny thing is, after the calls the past couple of nights where you told me that I could call any time, I thought that things were okay.
I came to your blog to see how things were, see how your mom's divorce was going. I even noticed you wanted to change your blog to four columns. I was going to offer to help.
Now I know how you really feel about me. Just goes to show, something you write one day can bite you in the ass the next.

Blogger said...

Did you know that you can shorten your urls with AdFocus and earn money for every click on your shortened links.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin